irrelevancy

noun

ir·​rel·​e·​van·​cy i-ˈre-lə-vən(t)-sē 

The word irrelevancy has come up in several conversations with friends lately. Irrelevant simply means disconnected or not pertinent to the subject at hand.

In our case, the subject was our current season of life — retirees, parents, grandparents, and, for some of us, great-grandparents.

Let me say up front that these thoughts are not meant to be derogatory or critical. They are reflective, honest, and realistic.  But most of all, written with great love.

Several months ago, Dick and I were talking about this stage of our lives and certain situations beyond our control.  I casually remarked that we are in our “phase of irrelevancy.”  We both laughed — but we also knew there was truth in it.

Our two children are middle-aged adults with demanding careers and responsibilities.  Their children are all adults.  Four of our seven grandchildren are parents themselves, most living far away.  Those without children are busy navigating careers, marriages, and schooling.   Life is full — as it should be.

We understand this.  We remember those years well, when we could not imagine fitting one more thing into our days.  Many of those days hold some of our dearest memories.  And we wouldn’t want it any other way for them. 

Our lives in our 80s are good.  We are as involved as we choose to be.  We live in contentment and satisfaction, needing nothing more to bring us joy.  Our true joy comes from our relationship with Jesus Christ.  In Him is our completeness.

This “phase of irrelevancy” is one many of our friends share as well.  We all get it.  It is simply part of this season of life.

And yet…

We miss the interactions with our children.  Hearing the everyday stories.  Watching our grandchildren interact with their children and great-grandchildren grow and develop.

And yet…

We understand.  We rejoice in their successes and excitement in seeing their own children and grandchildren flourish.  We thank God for every blessing they experience.  We pray for them daily.

And yet…

This morning, a thought stopped me in my tracks:

If we feel irrelevant at times, how must God feel when we only think about Him on Sundays?

How must He feel when we fail to engage Him in our daily lives — when we don’t consult Him in our plans, share our joys or concerns, or seek His?  When we choose our phones, social media, or a good book over His Good Book?

Do we ever just sit and quietly enjoy simply being in His presence because we love Him?  Are we too busy and preoccupied with life to just be still and know? 

Do we make God irrelevant in our lives?

I’m afraid the answer is often yes.  It is for me.

But this does not have to be our reality.  He has promised, “I am with you always."  He invites us to seek Him, to talk with Him, to share our thoughts, ideas, concerns, joys, excitements, plans, frustrations, and yes, to ask for forgiveness for disappointing Him.  To think of Him without ceasing.  He reminds us that if He cares for the sparrow, how much more does He care for us.  As His children, we need to let Him know we need Him, not just in the crisis times of our lives.

As we approach Easter and reflect on the death, burial, and resurrection of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, let us commit to living in close, relevant fellowship with Him every day.

He deserves nothing less.

Welcome to December

As I sit here at my computer on this Tuesday morning, listening to Christmas music, thinking about the things I need to do before our upcoming trip, and answering questions Joyce has given us, my heart is filled with gratitude for all the blessings God has so generously bestowed upon our family in 2025.  Thank you, Father, for your faithfulness.

It is Wednesday, and that means it is time for the Hodgepodge. 

Joyce asks the questions.

We answer the questions.

 Click here to join the fun!

1. What does it mean to have the 'holiday spirit'? On a scale of 1-10, how is yours this year? (10=off the charts, 1=still looking for it)

Norman Vincent Peale expressed it well:  "Christmas is the season of joy, of holiday greetings exchanged, of gift-giving, and of families united."

To me, it means a magical time of joy in the air, a sense of togetherness, time with our family and friends, worship, and music celebrations.  But especially it is a time of rejoicing because God loved us so much that He sent his only Son to be born that we might know God the Father in a personal way.  So let our hearts be filled with gratitude during this season of joy.

"The spirit of Christmas is in every shared joy and in every act of kindness during this wondrous time of year."

 

2. What's your favorite character from a (December) holiday-themed movie, book, or TV special? Tell us why.

I don't have a favorite character and couldn't tell you the name of a single actor/actress in any Christmas movie or show.  We always watched Polar Express and Elf during the holidays with our son and his family. This year, I'm sure those traditions will carry on to the next generation. Once is enough for me, but I love being part of this family tradition.

We do, however, enjoy traditional and classic musical performances.  

Our church does the "Gift of Christmas," which is the most amazing live performance you could want to see.  People come from all over to see it.  Our granddaughter has performed in it since middle school. Above is the Nativity portion from last year's performance.  It involves over a thousand volunteers for fourteen performances.

3. Do you like gingerbread? Are gingerbread houses part of your holiday tradition?

I do like gingerbread, but gingerbread houses are not part of our tradition. 

4. Much of our vocabulary is determined by where we live or where we grew up. What say you-

sprinkles or jimmies? 

lightning bugs or fireflies?

soda or pop?  Coke

sneakers, trainers, or tennis shoes?

sub, hoagie, grinder, or hero?

freeway, highway, or motorway?

frosting or icing?

sauce or gravy?

5. Share a favorite holiday memory from your childhood.

Our baby sister, Sarah, was 7 years younger than me and 5 years younger than Gin.  She was our baby doll.  Her first Christmas Eve in 1951, our dad climbed on the roof of our house and pretended to be Santa with all the required sounds of reindeer, and "Ho, ho, hos."  Gin and I were convinced that Santa had actually visited us that night, and we told this story to Sarah every year.  This memory is especially poignant since Sarah's sudden death was two years ago this week.  Memories will always hold special places in our hearts.

 6.  Insert your own random thought here. 

Being that I am in a reflective state of mind, let me share with you some pictures of time past and special memories.

Sisters

Until our dad died in 1994, our family always met at their house for Christmas.  It was looked forward to all year long by all our families. These are some of the most precious memories we share, and I love that we have the privilege of making memories with our grandchildren that will bring them joy for years to come.

Our last picture together.  Little did we know.

Thanksgiving 2025

Another Dallas Thanksgiving is in the books without a single picture of the hosts and participants.  I guess in retrospect, that simply means we were having such a good time that no one was carrying around a phone.

The hosts provided the turkey, ham, cornbread dressing, mashed potatoes and gravy, while granddaughter, Chandler, made her traditional delicious green bean casserole.  I added my usual contributions with a nod to Cajun fare - the best Dirty Rice I've ever made, and Pink Salad.  Chuck's mom, Sandra, brought her usual delicious pecan and pumpkin pies.  There were enough leftovers that no one went home empty-handed.

Christy always sets a beautiful table, and this year was no exception.

Isn't this the cutest candle holder for fall?

Ava Grace has always made our place cards, but since she is now a college freshman, she pulled out some from years past.  I wish I had pictures of all she has done since she was a little girl.

One of my favorite rooms in their home is Chuck's office.  I like it because Christy has decorated to perfectly suit him and his interests - primarily the University of Texas Longhorns.

In January of this year, Christy and Chuck added three new grandbabies to the two boys born in '23 and '24.  This mantle will eventually hold all five grandchildren's stockings.

This is a picture taken while all the girls and cousins were together a few weeks ago.

We missed two of their little families this year.  Emily wasn't feeling like making the trip from Fayetteville, AR, so we missed seeing the two little ones and her little family of four.  Cassidy, Angelos, and Noah have returned to Athens, Greece, and were moving into a new "casa" as we were eating.

And this is the family tree that holds so many memories through the years, and college ornaments for all the girls.

This little Sebastian "Bass" may have gotten more attention than the turkey this year.

Now to Athens for a minute.

How about this little doll, who is approving of the new decor in his dad's and granddad's pastry shop in downtown Athens.  They are celebrating their 100th anniversary this year with a makeover.  They are also celebrating the fifth generation with Noah's birth earlier this year.

Proud Granddad and Dad in the updated Melissa.

Our Indiana Days met at Savannah and Riis's new house in Indy for Thanksgiving this year.  I don't have pictures of them either, but we did enjoy a FaceTime visit.  All in all, it was a very enjoyable day of giving thanks to our Lord and Saviour for all the joy, blessings, and God's goodness.

Beauty Without Within Thursday

 

Sally Cox

I actually knew about Sally before I knew Sally!

Before I retired, Hubby would often come home from the gym telling me stories told him by this woman about her grandchildren or things she did in her classroom.  So when I finally met Sally, I felt like I already knew her.

I want you to also meet her!

Petite Bundle of Energy and Charisma

Sally has always been very physically active, first playing sports and later with a faithful workout routine.  At the age of 30, she started running 3 miles five days a week, and did this diligently for 40 years.  Now, she walks on a treadmill for an hour and at a much faster pace than I do.

She attributes her drive and desire to stay active to genes.  She explains that as one of five siblings - two girls and 3 boys - she probably would have been diagnosed as hyperactive if they had known about that sort of thing at the time.  However, she says she has always been driven to achieve and succeed at whatever she does.

Educator

It is this busy, active, high energy lifestyle that Sally has taken into retirement.

 Sally retired in 2006 after having served as a Caddo Parish Public School Teacher and Elementary School Principal for thirty nine and a half (39.5) years.  During that time, she served on the Louisiana Board of Elementary and Secondary Education (BESE), having been appointed by then Governor Edwin Edwards.  Since retiring she has also served on the Teacher Retirement Board.  As an educator, she believes it is important to stay politically involved with the legislature and decision makers.

I asked her what she sees as her mission or goal now at this stage of her life, and her answer was -

"To stay active and to retain the freedom to make choices regarding my life as long as I can."

Recently, a local periodical carried an article about Sally and it began like this:

"Retirement means different things to different people."

To Sally Cox, retirement simply means changing jobs.

  

For the last six (6) years, Sally has taught the Gifted Program at the First Baptist Church School in Shreveport, Louisiana.  She told me that this is her passion.

Children are identified for her program as early as 2nd grade and she currently has 25 students through grade 8.

I was amazed at the exciting things Sally is doing with these gifted children. 

She is in the middle of a CSI unit where the students learn deductive reasoning and crime analysis.

The pictures below are of the "crime scene" and laboratory.

All of the suspects sound like shady characters to me!

  As "Detectives & Forensic Scientists" the students have to analysis everything from the "blood" stains, contents of the drinks, fingerprints, smells and fibers found on clothing, handwriting samples, footprints, etc.

I can't wait to find out "Who Done It!"

Other on-going lessons and projects are:

Research and presentation skills by putting together a PowerPoint presentation on the

"History of Shoes"

  Programing and Operating Robots

 "Cross Country USA"

This is a fascinating way to teach analytical and mathematical application using a  program where the children become 18-wheeler drivers crisis-crossing the country.  They have to report things such as:

 1.  The commodities they are carrying and how many they will pick up

2.  Tell about 8 cities they will stop in and what is significant about each

3.  Give name and information about 8 states through which they will travel

4.  Keep an expense and profit account of their trips and check it 3 different ways.

Is this as mind-boggling to you as it is to me?

"Restoration of the Barrier Islands"

In November, she will take a group of the older students down to Terrebone Bay for 2 nights where they will climax this study by seeing first-hand the work being done to save the Louisiana Coastline.  They will also have a swamp and walking tour of the area.

"Spending the Night with the Animals"

Earlier this year, she led an awesome field trip for the fourth grade students and parents that would exhaust the normal senior citizen to even consider doing.

Starting at 5:45 a.m., she took the group on AMTRAK to Dallas, Texas where they spent a busy day seeing sights.  At 7:00 p.m. they arrived at the Dallas Zoo where they had an evening tour and then spent the night with the animals.  Her students had a blast as you may well imagine.

The Real Sally Cox

Words that characterize this woman (and you will see a pattern here) are -

energetic, active, goal orientated, determined, and family.

Her favorite activities are - 

exercising, cooking and traveling with her grandchildren.

That brings up her favorite subject:  Grandchildren

Sally and her husband James, have six grandchildren - 5 girls and one boy - their own personal basketball team and coach.  They took all the grands to Colorado this summer and I can assure you it was well planned with plenty to do.

What is most important to Sally Cox?

Her faith, and her family!

Sally and her 4 remaining siblings (they lost a brother 25 years ago to cancer and this is still a very acute loss for Sally) own a camp together and look forward to times when all of them gather there.

In fact, for Thanksgiving all the siblings and their families will meet and spend several days there where they will enjoy traditions such as a family hayride, scavenger hunt for the 20-30 grandchildren, then a huge football game.

Favorite Quote or Scripture?

1 Corinthians 13, the Love chapter in the Bible

13 Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. ² And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. ³ And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned,^[a] but have not love, it profits me nothing.

⁴ Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; ⁵ does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; ⁶ does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; ⁷ bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

⁸ Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away. ⁹ For we know in part and we prophesy in part. ¹⁰ But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.

¹¹ When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. ¹² For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.

¹³ And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

And this is my friend, Sally Cox!

Beautiful Without & Within

Links to previous and remaining posts in series:

#1 Jean Anne Williams

Sally Cox

Dana Mosely

Margaret Williams Jones

Sharon Mabus

Beauty Without Within Thursday

Welcome!

I hope you will find this new addition to my blog as enjoyable and inspiring as it has already been to me in preparing it.  God has brought so many beautiful women into my life who have each brought enrichment through friendships, encouragement, insight, inspiration, and just plain love.  As I introduce some of these special ladies, you too will see their God-given

"Beauty Without & Within."

  Jean Anne Williams

MY FRIEND

 I met Jean Anne when she and her husband joined us on staff at the First Baptist Church in Bastrop, La. as Minister of Education in 1977.  We became immediate friends.  And although they only lived in Bastrop for two years, we have maintained a very close and intimate friendship.  And one I treasure.

For several years before and after they moved to Shreveport, our families spent New Years together.  This may have been the only time we saw each other during the year prior to our joining them in Shreveport in 2002, but we always looked forward to this special time of catching up, eating Dick's gumbo and Jean Anne's many deserts while watching football and working jigsaw puzzles.

We also have other wonderful memories including our Alaskan Cruise together in 2000.

There is something very special about Jean Anne.  Whether you are initially attracted to her beautiful and warm smile, her sweet and sincere personality, or the engaging way she expresses interest in you, you are captivated and want to know more about this person.

 So, let me tell you a little about her.

FAMILY

She is married to Dr. Larry Williams, who since leaving Bastrop in 1979, has served as Minister of Education and now Minister to Senior Adults at Broadmoor Baptist Church in Shreveport.

They are the proud parents of two lovely daughters, Amy and Anne and five wonderful grandchildren, all of whom live nearby.

INTERESTS

Jean Anne is an excellent cook and enjoys trying new recipes in her bright and cheery kitchen.  She also delights in sharing her prepared dishes with folks who just need to know someone cares.  And she does!

She loves to read and now that she is retired, she is especially enjoying catching up on all the books she has collected by her favorite author, Karen Kingsbury.

But, Jean Anne's favorite pass time, other than spending time with her family, is scrape-booking.  She has been recording family memories in scrapbooks for many years.  Below is a box full of  2013 events and happenings so far.

I asked her what her favorite possession(s) was, and I got two very interesting answers.

Jean Anne just recently acquired this trophy from her father, age 92, which dates back to 1940.  The story is, in the little rural Oklahoma town in which her dad grew up, the only pass time for this tall athletic boy and his brothers was basketball.  In 1940, he played on the small High School basketball team that won the State Title, and this is his trophy from that memorable event.

Jean Anne said that her dad shared some very interesting stories with her recently about that time.  After graduating from High School, he was given a Basketball Scholarship to play at one of the large Oklahoma Universities.  After playing one year, he left school because "He just didn't feel right about being paid to play basketball when his two older brothers were serving in the military."  He continued to play basketball on local teams however, winning various trophies until 1973.

What a treasure trove of memories!

 Her other favorite item really didn't surprise me because I have been aware of this item and its significance for many years.

It is her grandmother's dining table.  If it could only talk, the stories it could tell.

SERVICE

As you will see, service is the most important part of Jean Anne's life.  And it is something she and Larry continue to pass on to their children and grandchildren.

Jean Anne served on the staff of Broadmoor Baptist Church for 30 years, 1983 - 2013; 15 of those years as teacher of the 3-year old class and also teaching music two days a week in the church's Week Day Preschool.  Then, she served as Director for 15 years.  Under her leadership, the school grew and enlarged services to the families of the children enrolled.  Although she retired in May of this year, she is still involved by volunteering to help as needed.

During this time, she also sold Premier Jewelry for 12 years.  She taught a Sunday School class, worked with Children's Choirs and continues to sing in the Adult Choir.  Yes, she has been a very busy lady.

Currently, she and Larry personally minister to the widows of their church.  They have organized the group called, "Circle of Love & Hope."  They meet once a week for Bible study, special interest programs, eating out, and craft projects that they share with local non-profit organizations.  They enjoy taking trips to interesting locations where they will also be involved in some type mission project.

 But, perhaps the greatest avenue of service has been in mission trips to Mexico and their on-going ministry to pastors and leaders in the South Central part of the country.  They have teamed up with the Mexican Indian Training Center (MITC) in Cordoba to help support the work of the local pastors and churches while also meeting the medical needs of the people.

Larry and Jean Anne began their Mexico ministry along with members of their church, in the early 1980's.  She has been going on these annual mission trips every year with the exception of perhaps seven of those years.

 

One of the things about Jean Anne is she is willing to serve where ever she is needed most.  Her  responsibilities on these trips through the years has been varied and include painting, cooking, assisting the medical teams, and most recently serving as "pharmacist."  But, knowing this gal as I do, I know that her main ministry is to love on, encourage, befriend, and show the love of Jesus to these people.

 She and Larry have passed the love for this ministry to their girls and now their oldest grandson.

I asked Jean Anne this question, although I already knew the answer:

"What is most important to you?"

Her answer?

"My Christian faith and the strength I gain from that.  Of course my family is very important, and my church because this is where I serve and the majority of my friends are there, but, yes, I would have to say my faith is the most important thing to me."

This large painting done particularly for Larry, hangs in their home and epitomizes the lives of both Larry and Jean Anne.

May I paraphrase and say that it has been a joy to know and love this Godly lady who is truly

 Beautiful Without & Within.

Links to remaining posts in series:

Sally Cox

Dana Mosely

Margaret Williams Jones

Sharon Mabus