irrelevancy

noun

ir·​rel·​e·​van·​cy i-ˈre-lə-vən(t)-sē 

The word irrelevancy has come up in several conversations with friends lately. Irrelevant simply means disconnected or not pertinent to the subject at hand.

In our case, the subject was our current season of life — retirees, parents, grandparents, and, for some of us, great-grandparents.

Let me say up front that these thoughts are not meant to be derogatory or critical. They are reflective, honest, and realistic.  But most of all, written with great love.

Several months ago, Dick and I were talking about this stage of our lives and certain situations beyond our control.  I casually remarked that we are in our “phase of irrelevancy.”  We both laughed — but we also knew there was truth in it.

Our two children are middle-aged adults with demanding careers and responsibilities.  Their children are all adults.  Four of our seven grandchildren are parents themselves, most living far away.  Those without children are busy navigating careers, marriages, and schooling.   Life is full — as it should be.

We understand this.  We remember those years well, when we could not imagine fitting one more thing into our days.  Many of those days hold some of our dearest memories.  And we wouldn’t want it any other way for them. 

Our lives in our 80s are good.  We are as involved as we choose to be.  We live in contentment and satisfaction, needing nothing more to bring us joy.  Our true joy comes from our relationship with Jesus Christ.  In Him is our completeness.

This “phase of irrelevancy” is one many of our friends share as well.  We all get it.  It is simply part of this season of life.

And yet…

We miss the interactions with our children.  Hearing the everyday stories.  Watching our grandchildren interact with their children and great-grandchildren grow and develop.

And yet…

We understand.  We rejoice in their successes and excitement in seeing their own children and grandchildren flourish.  We thank God for every blessing they experience.  We pray for them daily.

And yet…

This morning, a thought stopped me in my tracks:

If we feel irrelevant at times, how must God feel when we only think about Him on Sundays?

How must He feel when we fail to engage Him in our daily lives — when we don’t consult Him in our plans, share our joys or concerns, or seek His?  When we choose our phones, social media, or a good book over His Good Book?

Do we ever just sit and quietly enjoy simply being in His presence because we love Him?  Are we too busy and preoccupied with life to just be still and know? 

Do we make God irrelevant in our lives?

I’m afraid the answer is often yes.  It is for me.

But this does not have to be our reality.  He has promised, “I am with you always."  He invites us to seek Him, to talk with Him, to share our thoughts, ideas, concerns, joys, excitements, plans, frustrations, and yes, to ask for forgiveness for disappointing Him.  To think of Him without ceasing.  He reminds us that if He cares for the sparrow, how much more does He care for us.  As His children, we need to let Him know we need Him, not just in the crisis times of our lives.

As we approach Easter and reflect on the death, burial, and resurrection of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, let us commit to living in close, relevant fellowship with Him every day.

He deserves nothing less.